Guide: How to Give a Blowjob

September 23, 2025

What’s the best way to perform oral sex—also known as a blowjob—on people with penises? Read on as we guide you through good positions, different types of stimulation, the use of sex toys, and how to best talk about oral sex with your partner(s).

How can I practice giving a blowjob on my own?

If you’ve never given a blowjob to someone with a penis before, it might be a good idea to practice on something else first. It might feel a little silly at first, but it can be a good way to feel more comfortable giving a blowjob. And remember, you shouldn’t feel pressured to perform oral sex on anyone. If you want to practice to give others a good experience, that’s perfectly fine, of course, but the desire shouldn’t stem from pressure to meet expectations or coercion.

You can practice with something shaped like a penis—for example, a banana, an ice cream, or just your fingers. Now explore how it feels to have something in your mouth—and try to get a sense of how you can add some variety.

You can try sucking, kissing, changing the pace, or adjusting the pressure and position of your tongue: Keep it relaxed, make it pointed, move it in a circular pattern, or move it up and down.

What makes a good blowjob?

Giving oral sex—no matter who it’s for—isn’t about mastering a specific technique or “performing” at all. Oral sex is best when it’s a collaborative effort between you and your partner(s), constantly adapting to both your desires and needs and those of your partner(s). Therefore, there’s no specific guide or formula that works for everyone.

Talk to each other before having oral sex

Just like with all other forms of sex, oral sex requires that all partners are in the mood. Before you get started, you can let your partner(s) know that you’d like to perform oral sex—and ask them if they’d like to receive it as well. If you’re feeling up to it, you can also ask your partner(s) to describe what they associate with good oral sex and what they find particularly arousing and pleasurable.

Read: How do you talk about your sexual fantasies?

How do you prepare for a blowjob?

Before giving (or receiving) oral sex, it’s a good idea to make sure the penis is clean. You might want to take a shower together. You could even start your intimate moment in the shower by touching and kissing each other. It can also be quite sexy to help wash your partner’s penis.

See: All Contraception

Take your time

Having your head between another person’s legs can be an intimate experience. It requires trust, so it’s a good idea to take your time. There’s no reason to rush into oral sex.

Start off slowly

As part of foreplay, you can tease your partner by stimulating erogenous zones other than the penis. The neck, feet, stomach, and inner thighs are all sensitive areas—if your partner finds this arousing, you can kiss and lick these areas. By starting slowly, you can give yourself space to see if it feels good for you, too. To stimulate these erogenous zones, you can, for example, use a vibrator.

Read: Guide: Explore Your Erogenous Zones

Use your hands during a blowjob

In addition to your lips and tongue, you can also use your hands as part of oral sex. You can either stimulate other erogenous zones or place them on the penis. You can use your hands to add a little variety to the experience, or to give your mouth and tongue a break along the way.

If you find yourself overthinking how to coordinate the movements of your hands with those of your mouth and tongue—then it’s better not to do it. It might actually make it harder if you overthink your next move.

How do you use your hands on the penis?

In addition to caressing erogenous zones all over the body, you can also use your hands on your partner’s penis. For example, you can use one or both hands to grip the shaft and move up and down.

At the same time, you can try stimulating the testicles or the glans of the penis with your mouth and/or tongue. You can also try wrapping one hand around the base of the penis and squeezing gently—this will mimic the sensation of wearing a cock ring and also help keep blood flowing into the penis.

It can also intensify the orgasm—so if you can tell that your partner(s) is (are) close to climaxing, you can try squeezing the base first, then loosening your grip as they climax.

See: All penis sex toys

Where on the penis does it feel good to be stimulated?

How gently or firmly your partner(s) prefer to be stimulated varies from person to person: Some appreciate gentle strokes, while others find it most pleasurable when the touch is firmer. Since everyone is different, it might be easiest to ask as you go. For example, you can start gently and then ask if it feels good or if they want more.

But generally speaking, the head of the penis is sensitive—this is where many nerve endings are concentrated. The corona of the glans, which is the area on the underside of the penis where the shaft and the glans meet, is especially sensitive. That’s why it’s a good idea to focus your tongue’s movements on the glans while letting your hands stimulate the shaft and other areas.

Stimulation of the testicles

The testicles are also sensitive. If you and your partner(s) are in the mood, you can stimulate them as part of oral sex. You can caress them with your hands, kiss, lick, or suck on them. You can also wrap your hand around the testicles—or around both the testicles and the penis at the same time—and squeeze gently. This simulates a cock ring and can enhance both the erection and sensitivity. Also try Plum, which can mimic a tongue and glide over the testicles while your own tongue focuses on the penis.

Communicate as you go

Sex isn't a guessing game, and there's no reason to assume what your partner(s) likes or dislikes. If your partner has a hard time putting into words what they enjoy, you can try different things to see what works.

Be sure to check in with each other along the way, and give yourselves the space and quiet you need so that both you and your partner(s) can tune in to how you’re feeling. You can try asking: “Does it feel good when I …?”, “Does this feel nice?” or “Can I try …?”. You can also show that you’re enjoying it by moaning and reassuring each other that it feels good.

This form of communication can easily be combined with dirty talk. If you’re nervous, or just want to be in control, it’s a good idea to perform oral sex in a position where you can see your partner’s face.

This makes it easier for both you and your partner(s) to tell if you’re both comfortable. You can also place a hand on your partner’s chest and gently push or press if they’re going too far beyond what you find pleasant.

Read: Dirty Talk for Beginners

Don't forget the perineum and anus

Both the perineum and the anus are sensitive areas that can feel wonderful when massaged during oral sex. This can be done either with pressure from your tongue or your fingers.

Not everyone enjoys having their perineum or anus licked (rimjob)—so be sure to ask your partner(s) if this is something they’re comfortable with before you get started.

Read: The Ultimate Guide to Rim Jobs

Use lube for a blowjob

For many people, oral sex feels even better when it’s wet. Saliva works great as a lubricant, but you can also add lube for an extra slippery experience. There are also flavored lubes available, which can be fun to use during oral sex.

See: All Lubricants
Read: How to Choose the Right Lubricant

Ways to Spice Up a Blowjob

There are countless ways to vary the experience. Explore with your partner(s) to find out what works for you. You can vary the pressure and pace, the movements of your tongue, and where you use your hands.

You can also vary the temperature by drinking something hot or putting an ice cube in your mouth before oral sex. You can also try taking the penis deep into your throat and slowly moving your mouth upward.

If you want to try deepthroating, a good tip is to push your larynx back by making a deep “a” or “o” sound. Place your fingers on your throat and feel for downward movements. This will help reduce the risk of gagging and watery eyes.

Eye contact during oral sex

Making eye contact while giving a blowjob can be sexy. It can be a good way to signal to each other what feels really good. On the other hand, eye contact can also be perceived as both intimidating and intrusive.

If you don’t feel like making eye contact with your partner(s) while performing oral sex on them, you might want to choose a position where your faces are turned away from each other or ask your partner(s) if they’d like to wear a blindfold. But you can also just close your eyes and give yourself space to focus on the blowjob.

Suggestions for Good Positions for a Blowjob

Depending on the shape and size of your partner’s penis, some positions are better suited than others for oral sex. The same applies if you’d like to focus on the anus at the same time, for example.

Between Their Legs: A true classic. In this position, your partner(s) lies on their back, and you lie on your stomach or get on all fours between their legs, facing them. This allows you to make eye contact with your partner(s), ensuring clear communication. The position is also ideal if you want to focus on kissing or licking the testicles, inner thighs, perineum, or anus during oral sex.

From the side: Your partner(s) lies (lie) on their back, while you either lie on your stomach or get on all fours from the side. This position is especially good if their penis curves to the side. There’s no eye contact—but your partner(s) can look at and touch your body from behind. If you’d like to take things further, it’s also easy to move closer so that you’re sitting on their face and receiving oral sex yourself. In this position, it’s also easy to use your hands on their testicles, inner thighs, perineum, and anus.

Your partner(s) standing: Either standing on the floor or on their knees on the bed. If you’re in bed, you can get on all fours, and on the floor, you can kneel. In this position, your partner(s) can run their fingers through your hair, let their hands slide down your back, or wrap their arms around your neck. It all depends on what you find comfortable and sexy. You can also lie on your back with your head hanging off the edge of the bed—that way, your partner(s) can take the lead and caress your upper body.

You on Your Knees: When your partner(s) is standing or sitting on the edge of the bed, you can perform oral sex while kneeling or on all fours. In these positions, you’ll appear smaller, which can create a power dynamic that can be incorporated into BDSM play. From this position, you also have plenty of opportunity to caress your partner(s) elsewhere on their body and make eye contact with them. See the collection: Kink, bondage, and BDSM

You on Your Back: In this position, your partner(s) will be on top of you, either leaning over or sitting on your chest or stomach. Who has the most control over the oral sex you’re giving depends on where your arms are positioned: If your partner(s) is sitting on you so that your arms are completely free, you have the most control; if your arms are along your body and under your partner’s thighs, they have the most control. It’s easy to make eye contact in this position, and your hands are free to explore your partner(s).

Read: Sex Positions—The Ultimate Guide to Greater Pleasure

Sex toys when giving oral sex to people with penises

If you want to add an extra dimension to oral sex, you might want to try using sex toys. A cock ring —with or without vibration—can make the experience more intense while also prolonging your erection.

In addition, a vibrator can also be used effectively during oral sex: A good choice for a versatile vibrator might be the Pawny, which is a good size and has a pleasant, humming vibration. For example, it can be moved around the testicles and the head of the penis or used to stimulate the perineum.

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